UNPLUGGED | It's Not My Business, But I HAVE to Know | Kayla & Lee

[00:00:00] Hey y'all, listen. There are people that you come across where literally you cannot stop scrolling. So I decided to kind of, for this summer, I'm looking over here again. For this summer, I decided to do the summer series, 15 Minutes With Unplugged. Like many of you know, I am a director for transformation and technology during the day. I'm a podcaster. I spend weekends

[00:00:27] drilling on the army side. I used to be a minister of music for a church. I poured concrete, I've laid flooring, I've done renovations, and every so often I do random things to occupy my brain. I figured there were probably people out in the world who were just as weird, unique, or neurodiverse, or in the words of that show on Netflix, atypical as me, we get a little joy out of doing the extra thing. So let's get to it.

[00:00:55] I am Kayla Edwards, Batty with a Belly. How did you come up with it? Um, well, it was going to be

[00:01:18] fashionable fatty, but that was taken. So, Batty with a Belly it was. Um, I'm a bad bitch, and I have a belly. So... And you're not afraid to say, you're saying the things that people are not typically comfortable saying like about themselves. Oh yeah, right. But the thing is, you don't, I don't walk into a room and you think like, she weighs 120 pounds. No bitch, I have a belly. And it is who I am, and it is what it is, you know what I mean? So it's like, you're gonna see it no matter what. So I might as well... So I might as well love it.

[00:01:48] Kayla. Hello. Okay, so I discovered you. Okay, so I'm lying. I was told about you. Okay. By the person who controls my life, who I also call my manager. Okay. Who I'm also married to. Okay, okay. King. Yes. So he's like, um, hey, you have got to watch this video. He sends the video, and I have a habit of not watching TikTok videos. I'm sweating. Like, because primarily because

[00:02:15] Christian sends so many of them that I don't know where to like actually start. So I just don't. Yeah, I just, I'm like, oh yeah, probably was funny. Oh my god, that's so funny. I love it. Yeah. You know, how many ha-ha's? Yeah, yeah. So if it's one ha-ha, you know, okay. If it's two ha-ha's, et cetera. Yeah. We'll entertain them, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I watched this video of things that are not my business, but I just have to know. Yep. Have to know. What are some things

[00:02:41] that are not your business... Okay. That you just have to know? Oh, literally everything. So if you and I are just having a conversation, my lunch plans, like, oh, we're going to go get coffee together. Yeah. Uh, baby, don't block off 30 minutes. We need a while. Because if you start saying like, oh my god, work was awful. What happened? Oh, this lady I work with, what does she do? And then I'm also turning into, what does she look like? Show me a picture. Because I need to put a

[00:03:08] name of the face situation in my name. Yeah. So yeah, that... Also just like, if an obituary pops up, okay, what happened to them? Especially if they ask for privacy? No. Okay. So I have to, on the obituary. So I had a family member who passed a couple weeks back, extended family, right? And they were like, you know, she was 75 years old. She lived a wonderful life. My first

[00:03:33] question was, how did she die? What happened? Right, exactly. Oh, well, you know, it was... The answer, old age, I mean... What was it? Yeah. So I know, like, I need to start now looking out for those things, not waiting for later to happen. Exactly. So Kayla, we see this persona of you on TikTok and Instagram and all over. But who is Kayla when she's at home, on the couch, chilling, relaxing, all the things? I fear I am the exact same person.

[00:04:01] So... So two cups of coffee on camera and outside of camera. Absolutely. Like if you took... All of my friends, when I started, when I was going to start doing social media, all of my friends were like, checks out. That makes sense. Because I am who I am as I show up online is exactly the person I am on the couch or at work, anywhere I go. It's who I am. I make friends in the grocery store line, friends at the coffee shop, friends at Disney. I don't care where we're at.

[00:04:29] Oh my God, no. I don't meet a stranger. And I've always been like that my entire life. I've never met a stranger. So yeah, I'm the same person online. And I feel like that's what helps me connect with people. So like, I've had so many people be like, I love how authentic you are. And... And because you're saying what we think. Yeah. But everyone's like, it's taboo to talk about sometimes. And I'm like, I'm talking about it. I don't care. What are they going to do? Like, so... And apparently, people love it.

[00:04:54] Because you're saying it out loud. Like, we had, and I'll probably regret saying this later, y'all feel free to judge me out loud or privately. That's okay. But so we had this person that I used to work with at a former organization. And she was like, oh, we're building a house in the DR. I'm like, well, she's American. Are you owning in the DR? Right. Is your husband from the DR? Why'd you pick the DR?

[00:05:23] Yeah. Like, was there like a checklist of things that you... Yeah. Do you visit on a cruise ship and it's all, this is the place. This is the place to go. Come to find out, her husband is from the DR. So I'm like, hmm, what does he do? Is he still there or does he live here? How does he feel about the world today? Like, I had all these questions and she's like, Lee, I think you just gave me like 10 points to ask my husband. You want to talk on the phone? I mean, I wouldn't... I'm not saying no, but I don't want to just like automatically say yes either. So...

[00:05:50] That's... And also like, how much did it cost to build a house there versus building here? Is your interest rate different there than it's here? Like... Did you have to have cash? Exactly. Do you own the lot? Because in some countries... Yeah, you don't. You don't own the lot. It's like a 99 year lease or something crazy like that. Like all of the questions. Yeah. So you can't pass it down in certain places. Exactly. Yeah. So is this brick yours or is it just like borrowed brick that you finance? Exactly. And so many other things like, are the loans the same? Because I'm sure like an FHA loan or

[00:06:19] conventional probably isn't the same over there. So like, what kind of interest we pay? What's the house payment afterward? Like, you know what I mean? What does it look like? How more done are we? Exactly. Do you have marble? Yes. Is it hard? Like, just send me... No, just send me the address. I'll look it up on Zillow. Yeah, please. I'll figure it out. I'll feel it. And I'm going to look it up on Zillow. Okay. So I'm not the only one. No, my God. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter the situation. I need to... And I'm truly not judging you. Like I... And that's another thing I feel like I've had people in my comments be like, oh my God, this is so inappropriate. And I'm like, be gone. Because

[00:06:49] it's not like I'm sitting here like, how do they die? And then they die of something. And I'm like, I'm just like, okay, it's just for my information only and then keep it moving. I'm just curious. Yes, I don't care. Or when you drive past like a big house. No, my God. Which on the route here, I'm sure. Yeah, over here. Right. So I'm like, I wonder... Yeah. What's your job? Is it old money? Is it new money? Like... And if it's new money, how new? Exactly. And are you hiring? Like... Or do you have friends that are hiring?

[00:07:18] Because I'm not looking, but I could be one day. I don't know. Exactly. I'm not looking either, but I mean, if the price is all right. I might be. I might be. I might be. So I'm curious, you have videos basically telling people to say it with their full chest. Mm-hmm. Tell me about that. Or the words of my professor, say more. Okay. I just feel like when you say what you mean and mean what you say, and I feel like there are so many people who tiptoe around this like...

[00:07:47] Like, cancel culture is crazy. And people tiptoe around like... They're not authentic to who they are, to what they're saying, or they'll like say it and then be like, but I don't really mean it like that. And I'm like, no, fuck that. Say what you actually mean. You meant. Mean what you say. Yes. And like, don't try to like play both sides of the fence. I'm very vocal about how I feel about it. Regardless of how you feel, just saying whatever you feel. Exactly. And if you don't like it, you don't like it. If you don't like me for that, that's okay. I don't need everyone to like me. Like...

[00:08:14] I think that's the other part. People's desires about being accepted and wanting to feel connected. I think sometimes they think if they say this or say that, it excludes them. But maybe saying the thing that you really feel, regardless of whatever that thing is, might be the thing that gives you a new group. Yeah. Oh, for sure. That allows people to connect with you differently. Or again, to your point, not everybody has to like me. Yeah. Quite frankly. Okay. So why don't we're on it? Everybody doesn't like me. Oh, certainly saying.

[00:08:44] Some years back, I was on this call for work and I think they thought that I had dropped from the call. Mm. Ah, I love this where it's going. But I had actually... I had just turned my camera off, so I was no longer like in the squares for the call. They said your name, but it didn't have like your photos up yet. Yeah. So I just turned the camera off and I guess they had the setting where if you turn your camera off, you're not on like the screen or whatever. Yeah. Mm. Mm. I think Lisa on the phone. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. They were... They...

[00:09:12] Who does he think he is? I don't... I mean, can I help you? I don't need help with it. I really meant like, how can I help? Being genuine. Yeah. And they're like, I mean, I'm not some service project. Oh. And oh. So I just... I need to turn my camera back on. It's like, I'm happy to drop now. Faces mortified. Oh my God, I bet. Yeah. And I'm like, no, if that's how you felt, you should have just said it. Yeah.

[00:09:42] And we would be okay. I would judge you silently or out loud. Exactly. I haven't determined yet, but we would be okay. Depending on how bad you said it. And I actually might respect you a little more. Yeah. Oh, certainly. I... You always know where you stand with me. Everyone knows where they stand with me because I'm not someone... I might talk shit about you behind your back, but you're certainly going to know about it to your faces. I've already said it to you. Exactly. I told you how I felt about this. Every single thing I'm telling you, I've already said.

[00:10:06] So I had this manager who made it his business to go like stalking me on social media. Looking at my XYZ page. Doing... Like, I think he even like accidentally liked one of the things. Oh, no. And then he took the like back. Oh, God. Actually, if you didn't get a notification, please. It's like... Maybe you look even crazier because then you took it back and it's not there and maybe what are you doing?

[00:10:35] So I'm like, hey, I notice you keep looking at my page. Not keep looking. You keep. Because it's like such and such looked at your page 10 minutes ago. Uh-huh. Days later. Such and such looked at your page 20 minutes ago. I'm like, are you... My worst nightmare. What is going on here? Like, do you not have any business? Right. And he's like, well, I'm just curious. Or is mine yours because... That was his business. Mm-hmm.

[00:11:01] So Christian was like, you should just be nice to him and just, you know, not say anything. You know, not bull the ocean. No. I'm like, nah. Christian, we're a good guy. Because not me. I'm finna bull it. We're finna get on high. So I confront him. I wouldn't say confront, but I'm like, what is it that you're looking for? Or I'm just trying to figure out how you became X, Y, Z role. Maybe you can set up a Zoom call for that. Like, message me on Teams.

[00:11:31] I can't afford you the award-winning, and I say this humbly, the award-winning resume. First of all, you should be saying it humbly. You worked hard to get that. Like, I mean, but, and also I sometimes, like, I wouldn't say self-doubt, but I always know that, like, people are just one bad message, one X, Y, Z, one opportunity away from things changing in their lives. Oh, for sure. So, like, I realize I put it in the work, but I'm like, oh, I could have sent you. Here's the resume. Yeah.

[00:12:01] Here's all the links. Yeah. Here's some guild courses you can take if you don't do it yourself. Guild courses. I mean, like. There's opportunity. Yeah. So, let me ask you this, okay? If there are three people in the room. Okay. And you don't know them. Okay. Who do you talk to first? The hottest person in the room. Really? Yes. Unless someone's funny. The funny person is always going to get talked to first. The hottest person is going to be the second one. And the quiet person depends on the quiet.

[00:12:31] Because, you know, some people are quiet because they're, like, shy. And some people are quiet because they're, like, deeply uncomfortable. And I have a tendency to make someone to be, like, a lot. And I know that. And so, I don't ever want to make someone uncomfortable. And I'll say that. I'm like, if I'm making you uncomfortable, I'm so sorry. That's not my intention. Just to set it up because I'm like, I know I'm a lot sometimes. But if someone's funny, I'm always going to try to kiki back and forth first. Always. And then the cute. And then if someone's hot.

[00:12:58] I mean, right now, me and you are having a conversation. But I would be talking to my husband. You know what I mean? Kudos to you, husband. So, I would go to the quiet person first. Really? That I kind of. Yes. Just to, like, make them more comfortable? I typically find that the person who's the quietest in the room generally has the most perspective. A million percent agree. Because they have watched everyone else interact. They're listening to everything.

[00:13:27] They have all the notes. So, I typically befriend that person first. And I normally start with, are you okay? Yeah. Are we good? Oh, I'm just listening. What did you hear? For sure. You know who's quiet? My husband. He is super quiet. Super to himself. And a bunch of people, when we first started dating, was like, how did you all get together? Because we are very different in personalities.

[00:13:57] Messy. He loves to gossip. He loves to gossip. Most men do. A million percent. But they don't say. Oh. Because we don't call it gossiping. Oh, no. Yeah. Okay. I'm just trying to get a better understanding. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, we will be in a room with a bunch of people. And something out of pocket will be set. And I'll do one of these. And I just know the second we get to the car, that door closes. Did you see? He's like, mm-hmm. And da-da-da-da-da. And then he'll be in another room.

[00:14:26] And he'll get a conversation from the other room. And say, well, they said over here. And I'm like, oh my God. So, now we get all the size of the story. Exactly. Do you know what we call that? Reconnaissance. I had this. I was in Austin some weeks back. And one of my colleagues asked, when did you start losing your hair? I was like, I was designed to be bald. You have a great head. I bought it at Walmart. If I would get one. So, I'm like, my hair was designed to be bald.

[00:14:52] But the moment that I saw that it was starting to fade, I was like, look, me and God are not going to agree on this. I ain't going to have one of the two little scragglies up here looking in the mask. No. You know them. Those people. My husband's a barber. So, he, yeah. Yeah. He'll be coming home. And sometimes he points out stuff, right? Because that's his job. And so, he'll be like, look at his hair. He'll be like, look at his hair. Or their line is no longer here. Brother, what are you doing? It's here. It's here. Just, you were designed to be bald with it. Exactly.

[00:15:21] Or, if you have the income or the access. Go to Turkey. Go to Turkey. Exactly. Go. Yeah. Turkey welcomes you. And they love you. Yes. Maybe you're keeping their economy booming. We. So, most people think there's like a version of you online, but maybe you're not the same person, like at home. Are you the same person? I couldn't be more the same than I am.

[00:15:49] Like, I don't show up online as this like, oh, this funny bubbly person and then get home and just be like, no, that's not me. At work, at home, with my friends, with just myself. Like, I always say I'm the funniest person in the room. I don't care if I'm in like a big massive room or just in a room by myself. I'm like making my own self laugh sometimes. Sometimes. And sometimes my husband will be like, what are you laughing at?

[00:16:17] And I'm just like, just a thought in my head. You know what I mean? And I'm like, that's crazy of me. That I'm actually crazy. But it is what it is. And he married you. So, he's stuck with you. Yeah, exactly. Y'all were one. Exactly. Literally, till death. Till death was part. So, exposure generally cuts both ways. And I've had some situations where it was really great. Mm-hmm.

[00:16:41] I've had some situations, which I think we were talking, I think we were messaging about where like, because the podcast has, you know, a little bit of a following. Mm-hmm. When people see things that don't add up, they are sliding in my DMs and saying, that person's a liar. Yeah. Yeah. Has this exposure and your like, internet sensation, has that caused any negative things in your life? No, not really.

[00:17:04] Because I think that the people in my life who I'm friends with, that I hang out with, that I care about their opinions and thoughts of me, already know the majority of these things I'm saying online. There are some stories from like, my past that they don't know about. But it's nothing that can't be fact-checked. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, it's like, okay. And sometimes I'll go to like, think of a story and how something happened. And I'll even go to my husband and I'll be like, when we were doing that, did this happen or did this happen? Because like, sometimes I'm like, I don't remember what happened. Exactly.

[00:17:33] And he'll be like, oh no, she said this or you did this. And I'm like, okay, Nellis, cue the camera and let me film it. You know? So, no, I haven't had that. But also, like, there are stories that I just lie about. Like, I'm sure you've seen them. Because I honestly think lying is so funny. It's also a skill. Depending on what you're lying about, right? Yeah. No, you can't lie and say you were this like, okay, well, you know what I'm going to say.

[00:18:00] So, you can't lie and say you're this crazy person in the military, as you really were. But, but you can lie to make a funny story. You know what I mean? Yeah. But all my stories I'm lying about, at the very end, I was like, and that was a lie. Or I'm just lying. Or that was a dream. Or that didn't really happen. Yeah. Because I think it's funny a lot. And I love telling a story. Like, whether it's real or fake, I love to tell a story. So, I have so many followers for this.

[00:18:32] Does Patrick know when you're starting this, like, lie or your journey? No, absolutely not. So, he just has to. I'll just be putting on my makeup. And I will either have the dream the night before. Or I'll be putting on my makeup and be like, I don't really know what to post today. I don't know what to talk about. I don't know what to film. But I set a goal on January 1st that I was going to post at least two videos every single day until the end of the year. And so, I'm like, okay. I owe it to myself to make a video.

[00:18:59] So, whether I'm, like, getting ready or doing just something random, I have to make a video. And so, sometimes I'm like, I don't have any stories to tell. I don't have anything, like, in my brain just, like, hooking up. I'm going to tell a lot. And make it a story. And sometimes I'm like, okay, wait. That didn't make sense. Like, I'll have to, like, tell it to myself a couple times to make sure it makes sense. Unless it was a dream. And then, I just saw a dream the other day. That was a whole last dream. And that's exactly what happened, like, in my dream. Which is crazy work. But, regardless, it is what happened.

[00:19:29] So, what is the funniest or maybe the thing that comes to your mind comment that a follower said to you? I posted a video of Patrick doing something. And someone commented and said, brother was a belly. And I fucking lost it. Got me good. Got me really good. One of the common things that people ask me, especially on my, you know, my normal, my daytime show, right?

[00:19:58] Not this guy. It's like, are the mics always on? One, the number of times that people forget that the mics are on, like, too many times. Most times. The mics are still on. And in some of our shows, like, we do the lapel mic. So, they're like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. And we, you know, we have a standing rule.

[00:20:25] We don't try to get people or anything like that. But going back and listening to them. Oh, so good. I bet. You're like, that was your inner thought. And you let that out. She said it out loud. So, I've decided to start this, like, little newsletter. Oh, love. Diary of a Consultant. Mm-hmm. Because I consult. That's what I do in my real life. But there are so many stories. And so many, like, hot mics. Oh, I can imagine. That I'm like. I love a hot mic.

[00:20:55] Like, I also love watching, like, athletes with the mics on. Oh, my God. So funny. Like, first you just hear a bunch of grunting. But then you just hear, like, shit talking to the other people. Mine is pastors. Oh. So, I'm not into sports. Okay. That wasn't the gene that God gave me. Okay. The only thing I can do is run for Jesus. There you go. And for the Army. There you go. But that's it. Yep. But in the other sports, it's. I find them to be very complicated. But on the hot mics, the number of pastors, right?

[00:21:25] Who forget the mic is on. And they're like, you know, I can get no amen. Or. Not desperate for the amens. Speaking of pastors, I heard a story that you visited a black church. I did visit a black church. How was your black church experience? A culture shock. Truly. So, I was with my friend Jazz.

[00:21:52] And me and her had been friends forever and ever and ever. And I'm not religious. I never have been. I. You know, like. I don't know how to explain it. But, like. I wish I had faith. Like, I wish. Because of the thoughts of, like. The pearly gates. And the streets of gold. You. Whatever they say. I want some gold. I want some gold and pearly gates. Like, damn. I get fired. Apparently. So, like. But, like. I want to be religious. But I have never had. I mean. Growing up, I was involved in church. It was kind of like. I was always grounded or always in trouble.

[00:22:22] If you can imagine that. Perhaps. And so, being able to get out. Wednesday night. I want to go to youth group. We're going to stop me from going to church. And so, I go to youth group. And I wanted to be religious so bad. But, I never did. But my friend Jazz. She was a godly girl. And she wanted me to be religious so bad. And so, she takes me to her church. And she's like. Chaperoning. You know, religious transition. And she didn't tell me nothing. Good for you, Jazz. Okay. They said bring all. Something to the storehouse all time. Yeah. And she brought me.

[00:22:52] And she brought me. And I sat my ass down. And I was like. They was hooting. They was hollering. They was running from down the aisles. The amens. Black church. Because they were getting amens. Yes. They were getting amens. They were getting. I mean, they were like doing the dancing. And up and down. And I was like this. Say hollering. Like. I literally. So. But I. It was such an experience. And I. I was like.

[00:23:21] This would make me go to church. This. Would make me want to come back. And stuff. Because. It was awesome. Like it was such an experience. But. I will say. I was prepared for my grandma's Baptist church. Where I was out. 1145. And I was going to get medicine in Chinese. Baby. Role. Growling. We. Do not let out at that hour. No. You don't. Or the next one. Or the next one. Please. Bring a snack. This is like a Tyler Perry. I had no lifesaver. Like. I thought the lifesavers were going to save me.

[00:23:51] No. No. Oh. Church candy is the best though. But. No. Yeah. No. Little butterscotch lifesavers. Yes. Yes. But no. Didn't. That. That didn't do nothing for me. I was starved. I was underdressed. Because baby. They were wearing hats. Yeah. This must have been a Baptist church. Not a single hat. I'm from Alabama. I think it was Baptist. Okay. Not a single hat on my head. I felt left out. Like. Okay. You didn't give me the hat memo. Okay. Didn't give me the two o'clock memo. Yep. And didn't give me the hollering memo.

[00:24:20] I can do all of those. I can holler. I can have a meal on my belly. And I can wear a hat. Can you imagine me walking down with a big ass hat? No. I could. What I want to say. I can't say. I could. And I feel like. You know. Somebody like John Christ. Do you follow John Chris? The comedian? I feel like he would appreciate it. So he did this road show situation. Okay. And went to a bunch of churches with his friends.

[00:24:48] And they like talked about the experience of each of those different churches. Church of God in Christ. Church of Christ. Not the same. Not the same. Because Church of Christ doesn't do music, right? Well. Is it just with your voice or something? No. Some of them are more. Oh. You know. Okay. Up to. Baptist. A.M.E. There's a lot of them. Pentecostal. Pentecostal. Non-denominational. Non-denominational. See, you know them. I do. Yeah. Growing up in Alabama, I think you have to know that. Okay.

[00:25:18] What part of Alabama? I'm from Birmingham. Are you familiar with Marion, Alabama? I know the name, but is it near Tuscaloosa? Like going towards? It is. Okay. Yes. Between Tuscaloosa and Selma. Okay. Yeah. I went to a school there. Oh. Okay. For a little bit of time. Okay. Like a military academy school. Oh. Okay. The only thing that was there, like on the route, there were log trucks. Oh. It checks out, actually. Yeah. Log trucks.

[00:25:47] So like the long road going to the school, you would always see like log trucks coming out from where they were. File destination trucks. Those trucks. Yes. Let's talk about it. If you had to die. Okay. What are ways that are just unacceptable for you to die? Drowning. Okay. I can swim.

[00:26:12] And I have been places where the tide was so high, I was like, oh shit. Like I'm scared right now. Yes. And knowing that I have the ability to do something and not being able to do it good enough that I die, terrifying. Number two. Maybe like a disease. Like something that's like a cancer or something. Something that I know I have, I know I can't get rid of. Like, you know, I follow people on social media who have cancer or whatever.

[00:26:40] And literally some of them I have like watched die, which feels weird to say. Yeah. But like you have this connection with them and then you, but that would be terrifying. Like you, especially because I have a child and that to me just like is scary. And you're a dad. So like you understand. I'm a dad. New. Yeah. Exactly. First Father's Day coming soon. Are you so excited? Yes. And terrified. Yeah. Why terrified? Because we left the hospital in there.

[00:27:09] We've just been responsible for taking care of her. Me? Her? Wow. Who else? Anybody else? Yeah. It's a thing. So on my list of like ways that would be totally unacceptable for me to die in. Driving. Oh, yeah. Okay. Make me fast. No. No. I just feel like I'm sure, you know, God is up there like, okay. Because I've negotiated. I've told him like, look, God, I love you. Okay. You're my friend.

[00:27:38] You're a cool dude. But don't let me die. Please don't let me die in a car accident. Okay. Okay. Okay. Two, I would not want to die on an airplane. The car accident is because it happens so much that people are a little bit desensitized to it. That's true. The airplane is because it depends on like where you fall on the and more. Oh, yeah. So like they're listing out the names and then they're like and more. Yeah.

[00:28:08] Who are the and more? Right. Can we get the last? I want the whole list. At least you're the last time at Williams or else you'd be way down in the bottom. Because they're going to put in alphabetical order. You okay. You're going to be up top. I won't be in the air. Still no. Still no. Still no. Still no. Though one time I was on a plane and I thought that it was the end. Like the turbulence was so bad that I went to my notes and actually wrote like my final message to everyone. Oh my God. That's so scary.

[00:28:36] And I have updated that message like every so often if I'm on a plane I'll update the message to say like because I don't want people to wonder. Most people in my life know how I feel. Yeah. Because some. They know. Willing to say. Yeah. But like the final message is I always felt like okay if a plane is going down I have at least 20 minutes. Yeah. To send that message and be within the you know the sail tower and if somebody needs to respond tell me I'm good or something.

[00:29:05] Read fast. Hurry hurry hurry. Hurry. Hurry. So no planes but acceptable ones would be like something where the story would be so terrifying and people would remember it. Oh. I went skiing in Portland, Oregon. Mm-hmm. 2017. When I was up there at the time. This is not funny. I did. There was a guy that was missing. And I'm like there are hundreds of people now looking for this guy. Right.

[00:29:35] He was missing on the mountain and all the things. If that if I had to go that would be a worth. A bear. Everyone would know your name. Got Lee right there in the middle of the Smoky Mountains. He fought the bear. Exactly. That's a good one. That is a good one. Skied down the mountain. Yeah. Flipped. Looked cool skiing down the mountain until he did it. Until he did it. And we had to life.

[00:30:03] Like now there's something for somebody to read besides. Cars in an I-65. Yeah. 14 dead. Okay. Who are they? Who are they? What kind of car? Yeah. Was he driving? Yeah. So I know what not to buy. Exactly. Exactly. Was it a Volvo XC90? I know it wasn't because those are good. Those are good. Yeah. I have a question for you really fast. Oh yes. You're on a plane. Mm-hmm. It gets hijacked. Are you being the hero?

[00:30:32] What? How many hijackers? Two. I'm definitely the hero. Okay. I'm willing to risk it all at that point because like we're already going to count it. Right. It's either me or them. I'm definitely for it being them. Right. Okay. It probably also doesn't hurt that I sometimes travel with zip ties. Oh fair. So you don't hang out there. We are. Yeah. I will have them arrested for you. Yeah. When we land this plane. They go like a triangle by the time.

[00:31:02] By the way on flights I know a little bit about planes. Okay. Just a little bit. So I had this speech I was doing for some HR conferences and yada yada yada called Do You Have the Right Flight Crew? So I went to like an aviation school right outside of Nashville to like learn more about them. As a part of this talk I like have the Boeing manual. So I'm like I don't think I can get us like all the way down safely. But we have a fair chance. Yes.

[00:31:31] Of after we get the two guys out. You got it. Of making it. Yeah. Like a fair chance. I watched a podcast with this guy Caleb Heron that I am obsessed with. And he talks about being on a plane. And he was like nah I'm fucking playing Ratatouille and I'm just sitting there watching it. And I'm like insane. What? Insane. So funny. But. No. I'm not waiting. Yeah. He was like I'm just like no I'm just I'm just gonna. He's I'm a first class. I'm playing Ratatouille. I'm like crazy work. So funny.

[00:32:00] Um I wish I knew about planes. And my husband is watching this and I know he's gonna know where this is going. But. Oh God. Uh I love doing a side quest. I love a side quest. Okay. Content creation. Yeah. We. I'm a travel agent for Disney. We. I have a normal job. And we um I don't know this is probably like seven or eight years ago this was before I

[00:32:24] had my daughter and we have a smaller airfield near our house and I was like I should take a flight like take a flight class and like learn how to fly a plane. And he's like no why the fuck you gonna do that. And I said I should. I was like and I was really into it. I was like I was like no I really should. Like I'm serious. They could be really cool. Shout out to the supportive husband. I said I'm gonna do I'm gonna do I'm gonna do it.

[00:32:49] He goes um well are but are you sure that you could you you where would we get the money to buy a plane. I was like hell I don't know. And he goes do you do you think that you have time to do it. I'm like I'm I mean maybe. And he's like okay. So anyways I said he wasn't fully like you got this babe you can do it.

[00:33:16] And so now anytime I see a plane fly I'm like that could be me. He's like shut the fuck up. Just up there flying. Doesn't matter what it is. That could be me. So I took a small we have a regional airport as well. We didn't I didn't know this about you. I decided that I wanted to learn how to fly. I went over there got in the plane called Christian and said come outside and look up. So our like trial flight they actually flew over my house.

[00:33:46] Amazing. So I'm like look up that's me. Are you gonna get a plane now? If so come and get me. I mean Boeing if you would like to sponsor me for a plane I will not say no. Boeing if you would like to sponsor me for a plane I would also not say no. Actually you can get a give one get two for you. Exactly. Give us a plane. Yeah. We'll fly it. Yeah. And we'll also give you shout outs all the time. We're here for you. Yep. Okay. We're at your service. So I want to turn it to you.

[00:34:15] This is the part where you get to ask me. Okay. A couple of questions. Now I will tell you I will brace for impact. Okay. Because I have no clue. You're very successful. I would say yes. I mean you've done a million cool things. You've been in the army. First of all let's just think about what we talked about here. Actually I've been keeping track. So you were in the military. Yep. I know you just graduated with what masters? Yeah. PhD. Masters. Yeah. Masters. And then you're on the board at Emory.

[00:34:45] I've done a little bit of research. Right? I'm a fellow. Yeah. Yeah. You've done so many cool things. You're a father. What has been your hardest. What has been the hardest thing you've done for your career wise that and what do you think has there been anything that's like held you back? Like do you think being a person of color has held you back? Do you feel like like what do you think's helped you or what do you think's hindered you from being as successful as you are?

[00:35:13] And I don't want to be counsel for saying this but I am going to just say the truth. I have not had to my recollection I've not had any moments where my color played a part in me getting hired promoted or not hired. Okay. I would almost say that it's been more of a non-factor because there were so many of these other things that were out there. Okay.

[00:35:40] Early in my career I became an HR manager for child support office. Okay. With no degree at that time. Yeah. My military was the factor that helped me so in that moment I had a little bit of privilege because I had service. Yeah. I've not that hasn't traditionally been something that's like come up as a barrier for me. Okay. Because of you know education military background my persona I think. How you carry yourself.

[00:36:09] How I carry myself. So it's kind of I have not experienced that piece. Okay. But the most difficult thing that like that I've had to go through professionally is figuring out how to segment these elements of my life and help other people who are creatives or unique figure out how to segment them and where they should overlap or shouldn't. Gotcha. Yeah.

[00:36:37] In some cases my podcast and writing a book or being at a conference or speaking has helped me tremendously in my career. Mm-hmm. In other cases people have asked well are you as focused as you should be on this job because you're doing these other things. So my typical response for them is we all have 24. Mm-hmm. A million percent. Yes. If there's nothing wrong with my work product, my presence while I'm here, what I do and

[00:37:05] the remaining of my 24 are mine to manage. Yeah. I actually left an organization. You said don't tell me what to do. No, but I did. No, but I did. Like this manager was like going through my page. They're going through my page. I told you about it. Yeah, yeah. They're going through my pages and yada, yada, yada. And I actually left the organization because I felt so uncomfortable that we were in a one-on-one

[00:37:34] meeting and he had came to the meeting with screenshots of my social media. What? My boss and my boss's boss follow me. So that just lets you know like who I am. It's not that they know who I am through and through. You know what I mean? Like they follow me and we are friends. Like we get along great. So him doing that sneakily, crazy. Screenshots of my profile.

[00:38:01] And he's like, well, I don't know if you have as much time for such a such company because you're doing these other things. Well, where have I fallen short here? Let me know. And he was like, well, it looks like you're live in the middle of a meeting. I'm like, these are prerecorded. Yeah. My post, prerecorded. Yes. I know what time it's going to be posted. You know what I mean? So he's like, wait, what?

[00:38:30] I'm like, I recorded that a month ago. Yeah. Do you not see I had the same outfit on April 26th? Maybe it was recorded at the same time. I was sitting in a draft for a minute. Yeah. Ready to go. Yeah. So ultimately I ended up leaving because of the pressure and the kind of far reaching behavior that I was experiencing. Unprofessionalism. That part. Yeah. I'm like, if you want me to tag y'all, I can tag this guy. What you got a page you need some promotion on? Please.

[00:39:00] Or I can tag the truth. Right. And say, this is why I left. But I never did that either. Right. Because I, you know, protecting the broader organization. And also what's the point? And what's the point? Yeah. Right. But it was terrible. Some people ain't never concerned. It was terrible. Yeah. That's scary. All right. Last one for you. And then we're going to have a little fun here. Okay. Wait, I have two more. Okay. Is that okay? Yeah. Okay. Okay. They're both funny. What is your death row meal? First, I am terrified of ever doing anything to go to jail.

[00:39:27] I worked for the largest private prison company in the country at a time. Doing their performance management system and like ERP. So I used to jokingly tell people, oh, you would never believe like how much time I've spent in jail. But it was mainly because of. You were there. I dropped by. Which was free. I'm a free man. I'm free. You know, but. I also always want to say, I do not believe in the death row. Let the record show.

[00:39:50] My death row meal would probably be my grandmother's caramel cake that she makes me almost every year or on demand. My spouse's chicken and dumpling thing. Just some situation. It's also a potato one too. But okay. There's that. I could try both and let you know which one a lot better. My mom's macaroni and cheese. Um, I don't.

[00:40:20] My sister can't cook, but she thinks she can. Um, nothing from her. Just a note. It would be good. I know. A little kiss on my cheek. That'd be fine. I love you. Um, and I would say the one other thing would be my mother-in-law makes these like rolls. By the way, I have, um, I'm in a relationship with Brett. Oh, you and my daughter both. What I have to do to, to, to maintain that physique. I love brave. So that would be the meal. Okay.

[00:40:50] That would be the meal. Yeah. Okay. My last question. Yeah. What is your favorite thing about me? Um, I, or am I who you thought I would be in person? Okay. So you're much taught. No, I'm joking. I swiped right. Wait, is it right? Or left? Honey, I got healing. I got him before, uh, what's the, yes. Sorry. Yes. Okay. So you are exactly who I thought you were. Okay.

[00:41:19] In real life, you are exactly who I thought you were. Um, I think that my best thing is when we started talking, nothing about this process was complicated. Good. And in my experience, when I have complicated interactions with people, I stop interacting with them. Mm-hmm. Um, so it was, it was, this is what I would love to do.

[00:41:44] Love to have you in Nashville, hang out for a bit, have a conversation. We work through the logistics. We went from, you know, the DM pieces to official emails and my team doing all their things that they do in the background to kind of make those things happen to like, to texting. Mm-hmm. We, our relationship really progressed. I know. It happened so fast. You sent my DMs and these are texting me. This is how we got here.

[00:42:13] Where are our messages? Where were y'all at this moment? No, but. So, so I think that was one of the biggest things that I found to be like, you have a life. I travel 30% of the year for my actual job and, and conferences. So all of this had to align and I feel like it really did. So I think that's it. Awesome. But now I feel like I have to ask you the same question. Okay. You're going to ask me? Yeah. Yeah. No, just, just reverse, reverse.

[00:42:44] Like, you know, reverse it. Yeah. Reverse, reverse. I think that you are, I have been watching your life through videos. First of all, I think that it's been so cool watching you give kudos to people behind the scenes because like you understand that your life wouldn't run as seamless as it does. And I say seamless just from like an outside perspective, but as seamless as it does without like a team of people supporting you, a partner that supports you, you know what I mean? Like having people that are like in your background. And I really think that's awesome because watching some of the podcasts that you've done,

[00:43:14] I think how you carry yourself is admirable. You, I feel like you, I feel comfortable with you. There are certain people that I see online that I'm like, I would never want to do this. Yeah. Like yikes, you feel unsafe, but you feel like such a safe place. It's like a warm place. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. And so, yeah, I just love that about you. I feel like you, and also I think that I can like kiki back and forth, but also we can have like a conversation about like work and boring stuff. You know what I mean?

[00:43:40] But like, we can still have like a normal intelligent conversation about that, but then also talk about our favorite death row mill, you know? So yeah, those are things I like. My name is Kayla Edwards. I am a data scientist by day, a content creator by night, and this is 15 minutes unplugged. All right. So here's the deal. First thing that comes to mind, we are going to put one minute or so on the clock. Okay. First thing that comes to mind, we want your honest answer. We may judge you out loud or silently, but I think you're okay. That's fine. Pancakes or waffles?

[00:44:10] Pancakes. Favorite genre of music? Sad emo girl stuff. Phoebe Bridgers, Noah Kahn, Taylor Swift, Olivia Dean. Love Olivia Dean. Love. One Two Step, Baby Steps. Yes. I love that. Baby Steps. What's your dream car? Volvo XC90 or a Toyota Land Cruiser.

[00:44:37] If you could go back until 14-year-old Kayla or something, what would you say? Continue to be who you are and show up for yourself and for others. If you could delete one person, who would you delete? Never mind. Don't answer that. Glass half full or glass half empty? Half full. Coat or hoodie? Coat. Plane or road trip? Plane.

[00:45:06] My God, I hate being in the car. It was going to say tattoos or piercings, but I think we all know the answer to that. She's a tatty queen. Super power if it was between invisibility or flying. Invisibility. I can afford to fly, but you know I love to listen in on something. Just put me in the background. A little fly on the wall. Okay. All right. I'm going to do this last one. You ready? I'm ready.

[00:45:33] If you could change lives with anyone, based off of what you know about them, who would you exchange lives with? My daughter. I have given her the best life I could possibly give anybody. She's the most important person to me in my entire world, and anything she wants, I'll make sure she has. If she wants a certain kind of treat, if she wants to go to Starbucks at 8 o'clock at night, okay, let's go to Starbucks at 8 o'clock at night.

[00:46:00] If she wants to go to Disney, I make a way for her to go to Disney. I make sure she loves to swim. We join the country club so she can go swim all the time. So yeah, her. I give her every single thing she could have, and I give her a life that was better than the one I was ever given, and I think I would change it with her. I wouldn't want her to have my life because I love my life, but if we could both exist at the same time. In that moment. Yeah. Then y'all would be sisters. Yeah. Then we would be fighting, which we fight now. Well, that's healthy. Yeah.

[00:46:31] Yeah. All right. Any last minute notes? Pieces? Thanks. I just want to say thank you for having me. This was my first experience of being on a podcast, and Patrick asked me earlier, do you feel nervous or anything? And I was like, no. I don't. I don't. Because you're used to talking to a camera. Yeah, exactly. So I was like, no. But this was a new experience, and it's something that was on my bingo card, was to be on a podcast. Actually, to be on multiple podcasts.

[00:47:00] And so I'll see you again next week. Round two. No, but literally, that was one of the things I wanted to do this year, which is to grow myself and grow my audience and get to know different people. And so I just want to thank you for this opportunity. But no, this was great. Well, in the words of... Hmm. I'm trying to think. I'm trying to decide. But I have... Okay. Pause. Pause. I love quotes. Okay. And I have a bunch of random ones.

[00:47:28] And right in that moment, my head was like filling with, ooh, this one, this one, this one, this one. And go. So I'm going to go to the file cabinet, and I'm going to do Brandy, the millennial manager. Okay. Don't be a turtle. Okay? Don't be a turtle. There's so many things for you to do in your life. Don't be a turtle. No need to be slow. No need to be in anybody else's business. Find the business that pays you. Yeah. Or don't. Or don't. Which is an option. All right.

[00:47:58] Well, in the words of Southwest Airlines, we know you have many choices when you fly. Thank you for choosing 15 Minutes with Unplugged. Bye. Bye.