Creating More Balance in Motherhood: The Power of Values-Aligned Boundaries and Intentional Career Decisions - with Lauren Cannata

[00:00:02] Welcome to Leadership in Motherhood, the podcast for ambitious, high-achieving women navigating leadership in the boardroom and at home. I'm your host, Leanna Lasky-McGrath, business leader, mom, and certified executive coach. I believe that every woman deserves to create a life and career on her own terms, one that she truly loves. This podcast is here to help you do just that. Let's get started.

[00:00:33] Hi, everyone. Welcome back. Thank you so much for being here. I am so excited to share this conversation with you. I have been on a quest this year in 2026 to reconnect with old friends and people who I haven't talked to in years, and I've been having so much fun. It was something that I decided to do as one of my New Year's goals and highly recommend it to everyone because I've caught up with some amazing people that I haven't met.

[00:01:02] I haven't had the opportunity to connect with you in a while. And Lauren was one of them. I had reached out to Lauren. We worked together many years ago. We started talking and I was like, oh my gosh, Lauren, you really need to come on my podcast because she's a mom of two young kids. She's a leader in the influencer marketing space. I think that one of the things that really stood out to me in our conversation is that she talked about instead of making life feel more chaotic,

[00:01:32] motherhood, motherhood has actually brought her more clarity, more intention, even more balance, which may sound surprising to some people. I loved hearing this perspective and I love for all of us to consider that actually motherhood could open up so many opportunities for us to feel more balanced than we even did before.

[00:01:52] Lauren Kanata has built her career in creator marketing, starting as an early stage member of LTK, helping to build out the brand partnerships business with top global brands across fashion and beauty. She launched their New York office, building out a stellar all-female sales team. From there, she went to Instagram to set the go-to-market creator strategy for Instagram's affiliate solution.

[00:02:15] Currently, she leads fashion and beauty partnership for influencer labs, a global creator marketing agency. On the personal side, she is a wife, a mother of two, a performer in a local mom band, and a mentor to young women interested in the tech and social space. I hope you enjoy today's conversation. Hi, Lauren. Welcome. Thank you.

[00:02:49] I loved hearing your story and I was like, you've got to come on the podcast. Yeah, I'm excited to be here with you today. Yeah, I'm so excited to have you. So maybe if you could start off and just tell us a little bit about you and your background, what you do, where you're at in the world, all that fun stuff. I live in New York. I am a wife and mom of two girls who are four and one's turning two in like a week and a half, which is crazy.

[00:03:16] I basically spent most of my career in the creator marketing space. So working across agencies and platforms over the years, and I'm currently leading fashion and beauty partnerships for a global influencer marketing agency called Influencer. I always joke it's like the most impossible thing to Google, but we do have good web real estate at influencer.com.

[00:03:38] And what that means is that I work with fashion and beauty brands to really help them establish their influencer marketing strategy and figure out what are the best ways for them to use creators across social and IRL activations, etc., to help them kind of achieve their marketing goals. How did you get into that? I'm curious. I mean, I think like any girly, I always enjoyed fashion and beauty.

[00:04:03] And when I graduated with a degree in journalism, like my very first job was at a small tech company doing like SEO. I was doing a lot of writing and quickly was like, I don't love to do tech writing, surprisingly. But I was really into social media. I followed, I read like a lot of like fashion and beauty blogs.

[00:04:21] And just I, as a consumer, I think was maybe on the earlier side of shifting my source of influence to creators, influencers from maybe traditional media like web and or like magazines and, and just like traditional celebrities. And so I had been there for a while. And then I ended up moving to Dallas where you and I worked together for a little bit. But I was just kind of looking for something a little bit more creative. I also love talking to people, being in like a client facing role.

[00:04:49] And so I had a friend actually who, she was sort of stressing me with the founder of a company called Like to Know It, or it's now LTK, more commonly known as. And so she was building out a sales team and reached out to me and, you know, and they're focused historically on fashion and beauty. And she was like, you know, I know you might be looking for something. This is a really cool role. I think you'd be great at it. And so I just sort of fell into it a little bit, but I think it was a really good place to fall. Again, it was still in the early aughts of influencer marketing.

[00:05:20] And actually, I think, was Instagram around yet? I'm not, I think it was, but it had like kind of just started. So it was still very much the blogger world and that's where that was happening. But I think, like I said, it was a good place to fall because as we've seen over the years, that more and more people, more and more consumers are turning to social media. And just like everyday creators as inspiration for everything from shopping to food to travel to really like anything, any sort of like decisions that they're making. But yeah, it was sort of an accident.

[00:05:50] And then it felt like a good place to be. Yeah. What do you love about it? There's a couple of things I love about it. One is when I was younger, I was very into like the arts and theater and stuff. So I think I've just always, as simple as it sounds, like I like getting dressed. I like beauty. And so, and I love kind of like seeing how people express themselves through fashion and beauty as well. You know, I used to like buy Vogue in high school because I wanted to like look at the runway shots and stuff like that. And so I think I've always just had an affinity for it.

[00:06:19] And then to see people who are not models, who are not celebrities, kind of finding ways to bring that to life. And especially when it's in a more accessible way, that's always appealed to me. But then I think also just from a, I don't know, maybe like a feminist point of view, I think when we look at traditional industry, a lot of industries even now still are very male dominated. When you look at the boardroom, it's very male heavy. And the influencer space is the opposite of that. It is largely female driven.

[00:06:48] And I remember in maybe after I'd been at LTK for a few years, there was this creator that we worked with who was a mom. She lived in Dallas. She honestly had like very lo-fi production. It was very much get ready with me, but she just had such a fun personality and people loved her. And then her husband had like a traditional finance job. She'd never been in the workforce. And she was telling me that she had made enough money from her blog business that they no longer had to save for college for their son.

[00:07:16] And they had like saved all the money for college. And it was largely like her fun couch money, couch cushion money, as she liked to call it, that paid for her son's college. And so just seeing the independence that it can offer to an individual and especially to women and just to kind of see the impact that it's had on some of these women's lives who, again, like started as a housewife or a lot of them maybe just had a job that they didn't love. And they loved fashion, beauty, et cetera, cooking, whatever it might be. And they decided that they wanted to share their point of view with the world.

[00:07:46] And then they're able to turn it into a career. I think was always, I felt like I really liked being a part of making that happen for people. I love that. I just feel like it's like the perfect alignment for you. So it's like, because I think I coach a lot of women who are in their 30s or 40s and they're like, get to this point where they're like, you know, I followed the traditional career path. I got the law degree or whatever, right? The MBA. And then I worked my way up and I did all the things I was supposed to do.

[00:08:15] And now I'm at a point where I'm like, man, I just don't love what I'm doing. Like I don't enjoy this kind of work that I'm doing, this career. So we talked about pivoting. And I'm so happy for you that you have found something that seems to align very well with your interests and your skill sets. And that's just like the dream, right? Yeah, I feel very lucky. And I think there was a time where I thought, oh, like, should I move away from this?

[00:08:41] You know, I feel like I've really, I almost felt like I had narrowed myself into a very specific space of influencer marketing. And I was like, maybe I need to become more of a marketing generalist. I need to learn more about just the marketing mix. And that'll make me more marketable as like a professional. And I think there's maybe something to that. But also what I found when I actually, from LTK, I went to go work at Meta. And I had such imposter syndrome there. I was like, I don't know how I got this job. This is so crazy.

[00:09:11] Everyone who works here has an MBA or is just a, you know, a genius, which is not true. But that was my perception going in. And then I quickly found that they were very smart people, but they didn't know about influencer marketing. I was sitting in rooms with head of product, head of consumer marketing and talk and literally explaining what is like how creators operate, what's important to them as business owners, what they're looking for from a technology perspective, how they work with brands.

[00:09:38] And they were just jotting down notes and they were just kind of like, oh, you know, wow, we didn't know this. And I think sometimes when you're in that bubble, you're like, oh, everyone knows this. This is just, you know, old hat. And then to recognize that, oh, actually, maybe I do have a unique skill set and being a generalist, while it can have its perks, isn't always the best. It's actually nice to be, you know, to have sort of a niche that you are an expert in. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's two things that jump out as you're talking.

[00:10:08] I think there's like the idea that everything that we know, everybody else must know, right? Like we're like, well, if I know this so well and everyone around me that I'm working with on a daily basis knows this so well, then everybody else must know it too. And then we get out in the world and realize, oh, no, actually, that's not true. That's not actually the case. And then I think the other thing you said was like, there seems to be two very different driving forces.

[00:10:36] There's the driving force of like, this is what I'm interested in. This is what I enjoy. This is where my talents and skills lie. And when I follow that, that leads me into a very niche space. Or looking at, you said like, maybe it would make me more marketable to be a marketing generalist. So looking at like, what would other people want me to be doing to make my, you know, round out my resume or to make me more marketable?

[00:11:03] And then I think whenever we use that lens or that as our compass, then a lot of times that doesn't lead us to a place where we are doing what we want to do, where we're excelling too, right? Like where we're able to be really, really good at the thing that we're doing because we're like trying to do things that maybe aren't things that are aligned with our natural strengths. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, it makes total sense.

[00:11:30] And I think that starts from when we're, you know, in high school and your parents telling you to major in business or something like that. And again, if you're interested in that, then you should do it. I also recognize that I remember I paid for college with loans. My parents did not help me when I graduated. I then had to pay those loans back. And I just remember having the very first job I had out of college that was a sort of digital marketing job. I wasn't excited about it. It was a big challenge. It was sort of intense and I didn't love it.

[00:11:59] And I had friends who did, they didn't have the college debt. They went out to LA to go work and get entertainment or do the things that I thought maybe I would be interested in doing. And so I always kind of like want to toe the line of like do what you're passionate about because doing what you're passionate about is like such a privilege for a lot of people. And for me, I was like, I'm not super passionate about this, but it pays well and I have a student loan to pay back. And so I think there is a balance of what is realistic for you.

[00:12:26] But then through that, if you're able to get to a point where you can maybe try to figure out what you are passionate about or something that might be a little more interesting that hopefully also compensates you like fairly well, then that's like the sweet spot. I acknowledge that, you know, I didn't have the luxury of like going and chasing after the dream job. And I think I wanted to work in like music when I graduated. So who knows what would have happened where I'd be today if I had moved in to New York or LA and done that, done that.

[00:12:53] And, you know, I'm where I'm meant to be for sure now, which is great. Yeah. Well, I'm curious now you're in New York and you are at this company. You have two young daughters. So doing something at work that lights you up, that you enjoy, that feels aligned, how that impacts home life? How does that change maybe how you show up in motherhood? You know, I want to hear about that side as well.

[00:13:23] For sure. So I have a job that it's not like an intense job in the sense that I'm working like crazy late hours by any means, which is great. But it is one where because it's client facing, I sometimes have stuff after work. I have to go on work trips. I love that. That's like one of my favorite parts of my job is interfacing with clients and going to, you know, conferences and representing our agency in different capacities. But there is the reality of the kiddos.

[00:13:51] And that means obviously a tradeoff of missing time with them. And in general, I really try to be mindful of how many nights I'm away. I try to not do more than like one night a week. And that includes even like social things. And I say that in terms of them seeing me be gone, right? Because at the end of the day, you know, if I want to do a wine night with a friend, I'll just schedule it at 8 p.m. And they're already asleep and there's not that conflict there.

[00:14:16] But for things where it's going to mean I'm missing dinner and I'm missing bedtime, I try to not do more than like once or twice. Or if I've had a work trip, I try not to do anything that following week. But I really just try to explain it to my kids. And again, they're four and two. So they're still really young. So this probably applies more to my four-year-old. But I always let them know like mommy has a work event. And I try not to say like, oh, I wish I didn't have to go to work or I wish I didn't have to do that. Because it's not true. I'm excited about it.

[00:14:45] And I want to set the example for them that hopefully they will find themselves in a position when they are my age that they are also excited about what they're doing. And that's setting a good example for them. So I kind of I always tell them what I'm doing. I'll be like, you know, mom has I had a thing at Pinterest a couple weeks ago. It's like mommy's going to the Pinterest offices, which they don't know what Pinterest is. But it's like I'm going to these offices. It was for sort of like a beauty summit. And I was telling her, I'm like, mommy's going to go to this beauty summit.

[00:15:13] There's going to be all of these people talking about makeup and skincare. And my four-year-old, for better or worse, is like also obsessed with beauty. And I swear, like I didn't do it. It's just like I think little girls like pretty things. And so she just like pink blush, whatever, lipstick, is obsessed with it. And so I was telling her about it. And I was like, if there is anything I can bring you, I'm going to bring it home for you. And they had like a booklet. And I brought it home for her. And she got to look through it. But I honestly do the same thing for socializing. If I'm going to have dinner with a friend, I'll say, you know, mommy's going to dinner with a friend.

[00:15:42] So daddy's going to do bedtime tonight. And they'll be like, I'm sad that you're going. And I'm like, you know, I love doing bedtime with you and spending time with you. But I really love my friends too. And it's so important that I get to spend time with them. Then you get playdates and mommy gets playdates. And when you're my age, you're going to want to have playdates with your friends. And I feel like she's kind of like, oh, okay. You know, they get it as much as they can. But yeah, I really try to do as much as possible. Try not to lament the work. And I try to just explain it to them as well as I can so that hopefully they're saying that

[00:16:12] I'm having fun. And that is a good example for them for the future. Yeah, I love that. That's so important because I think about how so many of us grow up with hearing our parents like, oh, I have to go to work, complaining about work and looking at it as only a means to an end and as something that is, I don't know, daunting or heavy or just like, I wish I didn't have to do this.

[00:16:39] And I do think that when we talk about empowerment, especially for little girls, it's important for them to see like, no, I am a woman and I'm choosing what I want to do with my time. And this is what I want to do with it right now. You also, when you are an adult, you'll get to decide everything that you want to do with your time as well. So I love that positioning. I think that's so important. And also it's a lot easier to do when you truly do love where you're going, right? Because it's authentic. Right.

[00:17:09] You bring up a good point of like what we grew up with. My mom, I remember her just being like, I wish I could stay home with you guys. Like, I wish I could be there for the school mom stuff. I mean, she was always like apologetic and like sad that she couldn't be there. And I felt that as a kid that I was like, oh man, poor mom. Like she's like, this is hard for her. You know, she was good at her job and I think she enjoyed it at a general, in a general sense, but it wasn't, you know, she worked in aviation insurance her entire career and she was great

[00:17:38] at it, but it wasn't something I think that she ever found to be like very stimulating or exciting. It was absolutely a means to an end. She was a primary breadwinner in our house. My dad worked as well. She just was the one who had like the health insurance and the higher paycheck. And so I think that was also like a big burden on her. She was like, I have to do this and I have, you know, I have to show up. And of course, nevermind that back then there was much less grace for parents in the workplace.

[00:18:05] And maybe she would have felt differently if she had a boss that was like, oh, you, your class reader today, go ahead and do that. And we'll see you, you know, come in after. Like that was absolutely, you know, it's sort of like butts in seats at 8am, leave no earlier than 530. You know, if your kid is sick, well, I guess you can take care of them. You know, it was much more of an intense and like I said, not holding a lot of space for parents back then.

[00:18:33] So I think we're also lucky just to be in a time where generally I think that has shifted. Yeah. Well, I think like we talked about at the beginning of kind of like what you see every day versus what else is out there, what people know that is true in some places, you know, some industries, some companies and so very challenging and others. You know, I have seen so many women in some of the like Facebook groups and, you know,

[00:19:00] forums and things like that saying like, if I have to take PTO one more day, like I'm going to get fired or, you know, and some of these realities of, yeah, what do you do with the sick kids? Because the workplace was set up by people who had full-time childcare at home taking care of the sick kids. So it has evolved, I agree, in many places. And I think in some places, maybe not as far, hasn't evolved quite as far.

[00:19:25] But I think in terms of that, having, you know, grace for parents in the workplace, it sounds like you found a place, a company, you know, kind of a home that does create that culture. You know, that is the expectation that you're going to go and read to the class and come back to work or whatever. Right. And gives that flexibility and grace. So I'm curious, how did you find that? Is that where you started your motherhood journey? Like, was it like that where you started?

[00:19:54] Did you find the place where you're currently at? Like, tell us more about that. I was at Meta when I became a mother with my first. Meta is a very, I think if you talk to anyone who's worked there, I think the experience runs the gamut depending on who, where you sat, who your boss is. You know, I think that's true for any large company. I will say they have very generous parental leave. So I think having six, I had six months leave.

[00:20:18] So coming out of six months, I felt very ready to get back to work, which I felt happy about. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel. I think you never know how you will feel. For me, I was excited to get back to it. And I was lucky to have a manager who she actually, when she started at Meta, she started, like, I think she was like five months pregnant and she got the job and obviously was like, so I will be leaving shortly.

[00:20:46] But, you know, I think she really understood what it was to like become a parent there, to be a parent there. And she was the one that I remember like having a chat with her before I came back. And she was like, you know, my daughter was going to be in daycare. And she was like, you know, if she's probably going to get sick a lot, it's going to be totally fine. But like, just know that you like, let me know what sort of what you need. She was always just so supportive. And I've always said, not that you can really control this, but if you can work for moms,

[00:21:15] that is, I think, the sweet spot. Because I do believe that moms are not only like they lead with empathy, but they are also the most efficient people on the face of the planet. I mean, we talk a lot about the mental load and we could probably have a whole other podcast about that. But just thinking about the stuff that we're able to get done, not only like for our families, for our home, in the workplace, and we're only, and we can't like take our sweet time to do that.

[00:21:42] I think we're able to ruthlessly prioritize like what has to get done. And then we just get it done quickly because we have to, because we're leaving at 4.30 to catch the train to pick up our kid before daycare closes. You know, I mean, these are just like the realities. And so I believe that moms have evolved to, working mothers in particular have evolved to become like the most efficient people on the face of the planet. But I was fortunate to have just a really supportive manager at the time.

[00:22:08] And then went to, after Meta, I went to Afterpay for a bit, was working, leading their fashion and beauty team there. Similarly, had a really supportive boss who was a mom, you know, and I think, again, tech companies also just tend to have, and I think they are sort of, they should be like a North Star for sort of resources for parents. Again, there could be like a whole other podcast about that, but there were a lot of resources there. For example, they have backup care days.

[00:22:37] So if daycare is closed or if something happens and you can't go to daycare or their nanny is sick, then they have paid for, like it's already prepaid daycare days for your child to like go to a pre-approved like daycare and they're like all over the country. So you just can drop your kid off at daycare and you're not out childcare that day. So there's a lot of that that's just sort of built into the infrastructure. But when I went to Afterpay, actually very quickly about a few months in was like, this isn't the job for me.

[00:23:06] It was like, I was stepping away from influencer marketing for a bit to be like, this was in my like, maybe I should become a generalist moment. And then I was like, no, I shouldn't. And I don't like it here. Team was great. Just the role wasn't for me. But I was like, I'm going to get pregnant here and I'm going to have my next baby here. Because again, good benefits at a tech company. We had to do IVF. So that was like a big thing for me. I needed to be somewhere that could help us out with that. Once I had my second daughter, Claire, she got B team maternity leave because I was just like, I'm finding a job.

[00:23:36] I'm not going back to this role. I'm going to find another role. And so a big part of my search being a little bit more senior, it was less of the just LinkedIn job hunting and it was more using my network and talking to people. And I'm lucky to know a lot of really wonderful professional moms and people that are in that influencer space. And so I just started having conversations with them. Some of them had been at agencies before and was just trying to get a read on what their

[00:24:04] experience was, of course, about the role, but also like the work-life balance. I think agency life can be varies a lot depending on the agency you're at. I remember talking to a friend who was at an agency that I won't name, but she told me that she came back from her mat leave. She had four months mat leave, which is fine. And then her first week back, she was asked to go on a work trip to California. And she told her boss, this is her first baby. She was like, I am still breastfeeding.

[00:24:34] Like that doesn't feel possible for me. I don't think I can do that. And they really gave her a hard time. And they were like, we've already signed you up to speak on this panel. And she's like, you didn't really tell me that I was doing that, you know, all of this stuff. And so she ended up not going, but it was made very apparent to her that that was like, not cool. Not okay. Yeah. And that when she said after that, she was like, I knew I had to leave. I had to find somewhere else. And I will say that agency is led by all men, but it was hearing those stories and really

[00:25:01] trying to get an initial read on where I thought would be like a good place for me. But when I was interviewing for my current role, I fortunately, I didn't know the team, but I had a friend who had worked with some of the leaders there that are female leaders. And she said that they were just amazing. They are moms. And when I was interviewing, I told them, I was like, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Like I'm coming off of mat leave right now. So I would start this role fresh off of mat leave. It is my second, which I do think is a little bit easier.

[00:25:30] I told them I have kids and I was like, I am a hustler. You can see from my resume, like I can get, I get done, but you know, I'm a high achiever. I do excellent work and my kids are going to get sick and I will have to deal with that. And I'm fortunate to have a partner who can also take on that load, but like, it is a part of it. I also am going to like, I have to pick them up daycare clothes at six. And so I'm going to have to pick them up. And so that's just a reality.

[00:25:56] And also if I need to hop back on, like I can, but that is a priority for me. And I'm not really willing to be flexible on that. And I was fortunate enough for them to, their response was like, of course, obviously, and you do what you have to do. And we're super supportive of that. And so I think I was very lucky in that regard. And that has not just been lip service. It has like definitely been true. And I think when, and I kind of believe this honestly, in any role, whether you're a parent

[00:26:26] or not, I was a dog parent before I was a human parent. And that also required me to like come home and let the dog out and do all that kind of stuff. I just think that if you, again, are focused on work when you're there and like doing the best that you can, it is recognized. And then you get the personal capital to like have some of that flexibility. And again, I know it's not true necessarily in like every single industry. I have friends who work in like finance and in the law, and it's not necessarily as flexible.

[00:26:55] Also, if you're a really high achiever, then they don't want to lose you. So I think you can also have that, those conversations that maybe you haven't had that flexibility to share and say, Hey, this is sort of what I need. I'll share like one anecdote. That's not for me. My husband's an attorney. He has a law firm with his sister. It's a small law firm. They're really like, they are supportive of their employees, but I think because it's small, it's also makes it a little bit difficult to kind of like the law's old school. Like everything is on paper.

[00:27:22] You know, it's like, we can't work from home as easily as, but as I can being in like a digital space. And he had an employee who had been there for like 10 years and she has a son and she had had a nanny for years and her nanny left and she didn't have childcare. And she had said, I'm really looking, I'm working on it. It's so hard to find childcare as we know. And, you know, she was like, my son's like 10. Like, I just don't really feel comfortable with him being home. She had a camp for him two days a week and then three days she didn't.

[00:27:51] And she was like, can I work half days in the office and then like go home at the half day so I can be home for him on like Monday, Wednesday, Friday. And they were like, yeah. And it was a conversation because they were like, they don't have a remote policy. No one else is working from home. But I think they did the calculus of like, we know that she does a great job and we want her to feel supported. We don't want her to feel like she can't be a mom. She can't do what she has to do.

[00:28:17] And so like, we're willing to work with her and make it, make that possible for her. And of course, if we run into an issue where all of a sudden at noon, we don't see any work from her every Monday, Wednesday, Friday in the afternoon, that's a different conversation. But she had built a personal capital there. There was not a remote policy, but she asked and said, this is what I need. And I want to stay here. And also like, if you can't give it to me, like I might have to go somewhere else. Cause like, I don't have to work here. I do have to be a mother and I do have to provide childcare for my kid.

[00:28:45] And so I think that was like an interesting example, again, in like a industry where there's not as much flexibility. Yeah. I love that. And I think that it's makes so much sense. It's like, of course you want to keep your top people. So why not support whatever it is that they need? I remember I started at a job, you were talking about your old boss. I started a job at five months pregnant and I was recruited there. And similarly, I was like, well, I'm going to be out on leave, you know?

[00:29:11] And they were like, okay, we just really want you, you know, like come and bring what you have to offer. And I think that sometimes as moms, well, first of all, I think as companies, I think sometimes that is like in our very short sighted American male dominated kind of culture. It's very much more like we need this now, right now, you know, like we can't wait for three months or six months. And so, you know, I think so many women feel like, oh my gosh, I'm going to be away from

[00:29:40] work for three months or four months or six months. And it feels like an eternity, but really in like the grand scheme of things, it's a tiny little blip. I mean, it's very short amount. I always tell everyone, even at Meta, which was six months, which is the longest that I think is available in the United States, at least. I remember coming back and thinking, and it was funny because I left when it was Facebook and I came back when it was Meta. So literally a lot of things had changed while I was gone, but I came back and actually like

[00:30:10] nothing had happened. There was still, there was this like one project that had like moved forward a little bit but still like was not where it needed to be. The problems that existed before were still there. And I was talking to a friend about it and I was like, you know, I have such mixed emotions about this. I was like, because one is, it's so funny that you're gone for so long and you think that your role is so, so important and the world doesn't spin without you.

[00:30:36] And in fact, like it does keep going, things happen, but also like nothing really happened. You didn't miss that much. You think you're so important. And it's not that it would have moved any faster if I was there. It's just that things take a long time and they, and it's the same problems exist. And so you're really not going to miss much. It also like right-sized things for me, because again, it was a bit of an intense environment and felt like not competitive is not the right word, but you know, there's just like very talented people that work there and you like want to come correct and show up in the right way. Yeah.

[00:31:06] But I was like, you know, it's like not a big deal. Like I was literally able to leave for six months. If I hadn't had Matt leave cover, which I did, I'm like, I think it actually would have been totally fine. And so I always tell anytime someone's going on Matt leave, if they've not been on Matt leave before and there, I have a colleague who just went out and she was just like, I can't even imagine being gone for four months. Like, and I was like, honestly, I've got news for you. Like literally nothing's going to happen. It's all going to be fine.

[00:31:33] And I said, and when you get back, what you should do is select every email in your inbox and just delete it. Cause if anything is important, they will follow back up. You just say, sorry, I like gave birth to a child and I've been doing that for four months. And so if you really need something from me, please feel free to email me again about it. And I was like, those are my, that's like my one piece of advice. When you come back, I said, just delete every email, delete every Slack, wipe it clean, and then just start over from scratch. And if it's important, it'll be brought back up.

[00:32:03] I love it. I love it. Well, I'm curious when you went into your interview, you were very upfront about what you need, what was going to work for you. You stated your terms and you were very transparent and upfront about that. Sometimes we feel like, oh my gosh, if I'm honest and upfront and ask for what I really want and need, then it's going to be too much. They're going to pick somebody who maybe doesn't have as many demands as I do.

[00:32:31] And I'm curious for you, like what gave you the confidence or like what allowed you to do that? Yeah, I think it's all about framing, right? So it was not the first thing that I brought up in my interview. I waited until probably the second, I had, you know, I had like a screener interview and then I interviewed with my now boss, the hiring manager. And then I had a second interview with her boss and then a final like, you know, presentation,

[00:33:01] which I think is fairly standard. And I would say probably in the interview with her boss, I just asked about, I was like, you know, I am a parent. I'd love to understand like what work-life balance looks like at the agency, knowing that agency life can be tough. And so she talked a little bit about that. She said that she was a mother as well. And we just talked a little bit about what, how she viewed the work-life balance at the agency. And she was very transparent and said that it was like really good.

[00:33:31] And she also, which I appreciated, she was like, you know, if you would like to talk to like another team member, I'm happy to set that up, which I think is always a really good sign. And if it's not offered to you, I think asking about that, asking to speak to a team member, whether it's someone who would be on your direct team and XFN, you know, just someone who is maybe, and you can say like, I'd love to talk to someone who is also like a parent who's maybe at it or at a similar title as me, just to, just to, I want to just

[00:34:00] chat with them and see what their experience is like about the company. But again, that work-life balance. And I think if any company is not willing to set that up, I think that's like a massive red flag. But so I talked with her about it. I was like, you know, I feel really good about this. It sounds like you guys are super supportive. I was like, which makes me feel even more excited for the role. And because I am so excited to kind of like get back to work to, I'm excited for this role. I'm excited for everything that I can bring to this role.

[00:34:28] And importantly, it feels like a role that I can do like while being a mom and like showing up for my kids. And she was like, yeah, a hundred percent. Like, that's great. Like, that's exactly how we want you to feel. So I wasn't kind of like setting out my non-negotiables. I think it was just having the conversation, listening to how she was responding to my questions. And I asked them like logistics questions around sick days. Cause some companies have like personal sick days and like family sick days and they don't

[00:34:56] overlap and some don't. And that's also fine. And actually ours don't, but she was like, if you get sick and your child is sick, she was like, you take care of your kid. She's like, she's like, I don't even look at sick days. I don't care. And the fact that she said that was like, I feel good about that. You know? So I think it's just about asking the questions again, if you can speak to someone else on the team who is a parent, I think that's super helpful because team members are often so transparent. They're not trying to hire you. So they don't really care. And if they're not happy, they're absolutely going to let you know.

[00:35:26] Like if they're like, it's really tough, then I think they're going to be really transparent. And on the opposite end, if they're like, this is the best, like I'm a mom and I have, I feel so supported. I feel like it's an amazing environment. I think they're also going to share that as well. But yeah, I think you can be, it's just, I think you just need to ask about it. It's not about saying like, I need this, this, and this. It's just kind of like, Hey, I'm excited for this role. I'm pumped about it. I like, I'm excited for what I can do for you guys.

[00:35:53] And it's also important for me to show up as a mom when I need to. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. So how do you feel like you're able to show up as a mom? And in terms of your overall balance, showing up at work, showing up at home, I think so often as high achievers, we feel like, oh man, I'm not giving enough at work. I'm not giving enough at home. Like I wish I had more to give. How do you feel about it and what's working and not working for you?

[00:36:20] So my oldest is in preschool this year. So we're now entering the school age, which I think it just gets busier right before that. It's just daycare, which is the best, but school, different hours, more logistics, more activities and that kind of thing. Honestly, I'm kind of figuring it out. But for me, again, I'm lucky to have other friends who are parents nearby who have kids who are maybe a little bit older and who are working moms.

[00:36:47] And I've asked them a little bit about like how much they're involved. That was a big thing. I was kind of like, do you do the PTA? Are you a room mom or a room parent? Like what is all involved in that? Initially, I was like, oh, I can't be a room parent. That feels like, you know, a stay-at-home mom's area of expertise. But then in talking to some friends, I was like, I'll just sign up for the PTA. And they were like, you know, room mom is actually not that much. They're like, you help out with like a few activities throughout the year. You're there for like an hour.

[00:37:16] It's like super quick. And then you like send some emails. But they're like, the best thing is that you're in the classroom. For at our school, the PTA could be like, you're helping with the book fair. You're helping with like recycling after lunch where you may not even see your kid. And so for me, I'm like, the whole reason that I would be doing this is to show up for Chloe and so that she sees me there and she feels like, you know, oh, mom's around. And so that was like, I think it was helpful just kind of gauging like, what would the commitment be? Talking to other parents.

[00:37:45] So that's sort of what I've done. But also like I've had to say no. We have a lot of friends who are, you know, their kids are doing soccer that starts at 5 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Well, I'm in the city on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So as much as I like would love to do that, we can't do soccer on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And so we said no to that. So I think it's just kind of trying to figure out the balance, recognizing that you don't have to say yes to everything. And also, I think like your kid to a certain extent, especially when they're younger, like she doesn't know what she's not.

[00:38:15] She doesn't know that she's not going to soccer on Tuesdays and Thursdays, right? When they get older, I think it'll, again, it'll be different. And this will be something that will evolve over time as maybe she finds out that, oh, all my friends are doing this. I want to do this. And then we can figure out if it's something we can make work or not. But I think it's just saying, okay, what's like the most important thing that I can do to like show up? And I'm going to pick like one or two things. I'm not going to do everything. And then on the work side, just being mindful of like scheduling stuff when I have the availability to do it.

[00:38:43] So they did like a Valentine's Day event in her class and I was on a work trip and I couldn't go. And like, that's okay. And actually we tapped my mother-in-law to like go. We were like, hey, go to the classroom, go like do a Valentine's Day event with Chloe. And she'd showed up and that was great. So I think it's figuring out how you can show up, seeing how other people can show up. Again, that's a really good one is it's not just moms. What can dad do?

[00:39:13] What can grandparents do? Like grandparents, if they're around and available, it was actually my husband's idea. He was like, why don't we just send, you know, my step-mom and she can show up for Chloe. She would love that. She just wants to have some there. And so that was like a great kind of hack. We were like, oh, if we can't do it, maybe grandma and grandpa can. And so just trying to figure that out. But again, with work, I just try to schedule it around what I already have planned with work. I also have a pretty flexible schedule because I'm in sales.

[00:39:39] I have meetings and stuff throughout the day, but a lot of times I can shift it around. I can front or back load my day if I need to. And again, but I don't like hide it from my boss. I'll tell her, hey, we've got the Valentine's Day event in Chloe's class today. I'm going to be gone from like 1230 to two. I'll be offline doing that. So if you need me, call me. And she's like, sounds great. Like, have fun, you know, take pictures, send pictures to the group after. And so again, it's helpful to have like a supportive boss that is like, yeah, go ahead and do that.

[00:40:08] And again, it's happening like once every four months or something. So it's also not like every week this is happening, you know, and if it was a bigger commitment, I probably wouldn't have signed up for it. Yeah. You've said a few times about how important it is to have that supportive boss. I do think that does make such a huge difference in our experiences. And also, you know, when we think about how do we pay it forward? How do we support the next generation of women?

[00:40:35] And I think we can also be that supportive boss as well, right? Like we have the opportunity to show up that way too and kind of pay that forward. I just love how you have talked about moms are the most efficient people because, you know, we have to ruthlessly prioritize. We learn these things. And I think a lot of times we might feel like, oh, motherhood is like taking away from my career or it feels like I can't show up how I used to.

[00:41:03] I can't work as many hours as I used to. And also, I think to your point, it's like, yeah, and also it creates these skills that you wouldn't have maybe honed otherwise, right? Like you didn't have to be super efficient and ruthlessly prioritize before because you could work 80 hours, right? Like you could stretch it into all of the extra time. And now that you don't have that many hours to work anymore and you have other things that

[00:41:31] are just as, if not more important to you, then it's like, no, when I'm there, I am there and I am fully all in and getting my stuff done so much faster than I ever did before. I think that is such an important point. And so important for us to remember as moms that those skills are being honed every single day. I love that. I think there's so many things that you learn in motherhood. Like for me, patience.

[00:41:59] I have not historically been a patient person. I've learned a lot of patience raising toddlers. And also just an understanding of like, there's only so much that you can control. And that's true with raising children, but that's also just true in life and learning to like pick your battles again with kids, but also at work and just kind of saying, okay, where am I going to focus my attention? And this kind of comes into that, like ruthless prioritization and efficiency, but you're not

[00:42:28] going to necessarily be able to give the same amount of energy to every single fire that needs to put out or every single project that you have to do. So then saying, all right, what's the most important thing that I can work on right now? That's going to have the biggest impact. Like that's where I'm going to put my energy. And then, you know, if I had all the time in the world, maybe I would spend a little more time on this other thing, but also I kind of just need to get it out the door. Thank God for AI. Like if you need to like write a tough email, just like pop that into Gemini and be like, all right, thank you. That took way less time than I needed it to.

[00:42:56] So I think we're living in a time of automation as scary as it is for better or worse, but there are some things that really are helpful with that. But yeah, there's so many skills that you learn as a mother that I think translate in a really powerful way to the work environment. And also, again, just being a more empathetic person. I think, again, that's a really, it's a really big thing because you learn that like life happens and so much happens outside of your control. And so when you, especially if you're leading a team and working with someone, I find that

[00:43:25] for, you know, my team, I'm always like checking in, like at the beginning of every meeting, I'm always like, how are you doing today? Like, how's life? What's going on? And like, there was like a video, a meme that was talking about like millennials as managers are just so like checking in on people's emotions. And I was like, I don't know if that's a millennial thing, but I do think it's definitely like a mom thing. I'm just always like, and what's going on with you? Like, how's, you know, cause I want them to feel like this is a place where they are

[00:43:52] supported as people because if they feel that support, then they're going to do better work for me anyway. That's right. I love it. But yeah, I wish I could go back to where I was in my career before and like have the same perspective that I have now. I'm sure we, right? Like everyone says this, like, I wish I knew that what I know now, but to better support people, be more empathetic, be more patient. Oh my gosh.

[00:44:16] I'm a way better leader now than I was before I was a mom because I didn't know how to be as patient. I didn't learn the skills of empathy as much. We are having those skills tried. Like we were practicing those skills all the time. I also think that I feel happier with the balance that I have in my life. And I was happy before. And obviously like pre-kids was very fun and great, but after having children, there are

[00:44:45] certain things that, you know, like I like going to school and showing up for my daughter, but also things I, in the summer, for example, like last summer, I was really big on Chloe learning to swim. She would just, she was like three turning four. And I really just wanted her to have like a lot of swim time, but I'm a working parent. Like we can swim on the weekends, but her swim teacher was like, she's doing great. If you could like have her swim during the week. And I just remember thinking, I can't do that. That's impossible. Like, when are we going to go swimming? You know?

[00:45:14] And then I just decided, I was like, okay, maybe I work from home Wednesdays and Fridays. Maybe on those days, I will pick her up early and not crazy early, but like pick her up at 4.30 instead of 5.30. And then we'll go to our pool, which is, we're fortunate to have a little neighborhood pool right around the corner from our house. And we're just going to have an hour of just like pool time. And it was like a, I had to adjust my schedule a little bit, right? Make sure I wasn't like blocked from there.

[00:45:42] But I, the initial, the catalyst for this was Chloe needs to swim. Like I need to make sure she's a good swimmer by the end of the summer, but it was so fun for me logging off of work and then going and hanging out at the pool with my little girl and like letting her jump and like helping her swim and stuff. Like I had so much fun. I was like, summer was so fun. If I didn't have a little kid, I would not be like logging off at 4.30 and going to the pool. Although now I'm like, you guys should do this. This is great. Like just, you don't, you don't need that last hour of the day, get the vitamin D.

[00:46:12] But I'm like, oh, I had like, I was still able to get all the work done again. Like you figure it out. You just move some stuff around. I wasn't like slacking off, but I had a lot more fun. I had great time with her and it was like good for my mental health to like go in, you know, maybe not touch grass, but touch water, you know, twice a week and just have that time in nature and stuff. And so I think that that's, it's like having kids can also really, again, like right size the perspective of like what's important.

[00:46:40] And even when sometimes it feels like a sacrifice of, okay, you know, I'm taking off work early to do this or whatnot. And it can feel sometimes hard if you're like rushing to get stuff done. But then when you're there, I think it just like gives you so much, which is really nice. Yeah. Oh my gosh, Lauren. I love what you just said because it's like so often we look at this idea of balance as it being harder in motherhood. And what you're saying is like, actually, I feel more balanced in motherhood than I did

[00:47:10] before. Like what an amazing opportunity. That is one of the gifts of becoming a parent. We have those invitations that we maybe didn't have before. Or if we had them, we wouldn't have considered them because if it were like my friend wants to grab wine every Wednesday at 4.30, we'd be like, no, work's more important than that. I'm not going to do that. But here we're saying like, oh, actually there is something that's more important than work. So now how am I going to reconcile that? And I'm not going to work, right?

[00:47:39] I'm going to make sure that I get all my work done. I'm going to shift things around. It's not that I'm doing that at the expense of work. I'm doing that and also still getting my stuff done. I think that that's amazing. And I think that that is one of the gifts that I have found in motherhood is that invitation and opportunity to expand in ways that I maybe didn't think about before, wouldn't have considered. I would have just been like, no, absolutely not. I don't have time for that. So I love that. And I love that for you.

[00:48:09] And yeah, if you can still get all your stuff done and you can still show up the way you want to at work, and then you also get to show up with your kids, like what a win-win. Totally. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. And I think especially in the summertime. Yeah. Summer's easier. Things are slower in the summer, I think, just in general, maybe not a crop. My husband, again, is an attorney and he's like, we don't have seasons. Like it's just always kind of busy, which is fair. But I think for a lot of industries, summer is slower and even unintentionally so because people are just on vacation, like they're traveling.

[00:48:38] I think the mindset shifts. Again, people have like summer Fridays a lot of times at companies. And so I do think it's like a little bit easier. But also there was, I definitely had weeks where I was like, all right, I got to do this call. I can't necessarily pick her up. And that's totally okay. Like I didn't like beat myself up about it. I was like, all right, that's totally fine. But I remember also having the conversation with my husband about when I was doing that. And he's like, are you sure it's okay for you to cut out of work? Again, different industries, different situation.

[00:49:07] He was like, are you sure that's okay? I was like, yeah, it's okay. Like I already, I had it blocked on my calendar. And if it's ever an issue, then like I would adjust it. But also again, I'm like, she's only going to be this age for a little bit of time. Like I want to try to show up when I can and have these moments with her. And I was telling him, I'm like, I've had so much fun. And I got him to leave work a couple of times early to join us. Cause I was like, you should come. I know you can't always do it.

[00:49:35] I don't expect you to do it all the time, but it's really fun. Cause he was asking about like her swimming. He hadn't really seen her swim that much. I'm like, just, you know, come take off work and come go swimming with us. It's not even that early. Like you can just, you know, you know, you're not leaving at noon. And he did. And he was just like, you know, and I'd have to, you know, he's like, oh gosh, I don't know. I'd like, it's so stressful. I don't know how I'm going to make it work. And that's just my husband, but you know, he made it work. He figured it out and he came a couple of times and he got to like experience the joy of that as well.

[00:50:05] And it was a reminder for him to, I think also were, I don't know if everyone else has this experience, but I do find that as like a wife and a mother, I'm often having to like remind my husband to also like step back and be like, Hey, work is so important. And these kids are like pretty cool. And let's like try to have the moments with them when we can. And it, again, it doesn't mean like all the time, but little moments it's important because they get big so quickly and you're going to cherish that time.

[00:50:34] If you can make the time for it. Yeah, totally agree. I love that. Well, Lauren, I feel like we've covered so much and I've loved this conversation. Is there anything else you feel like you want to share or talk about that we haven't talked about so far? You know, I know you and I talked about like how you're a coach and you focus on like mothers. And I just think that that's such a great like resource, obviously like coaching, it has been around. That's not necessarily new, but to focus it specifically on mothers, because I think so

[00:51:02] many times, and the fact that you're even doing this podcast, I think there, we've talked a little bit about this is that women don't have examples in their life of other, of maybe other women who are kind of being able to find that balance or being able to like really more effectively navigate motherhood and working life and being a wife and just kind of like everything that is involved in that. And so I just think that it's amazing that you're focused on that.

[00:51:28] And I think that also as much as you can for like women, I think one of the big things for me too is just like having a tribe of other women who I can like commiserate with and talk with. And I'm lucky. I think I mentioned a couple of times just to have good friends who are also like working moms and just for us to be able to commiserate about it, go on a walk, have a wine night, et cetera, and talk about like what we're struggling with, what's working for us. I feel like so much of like my balance and what I, you know, kind of when I look at my life

[00:51:57] and when I see like what's working so much of it as a result of like advice that friends have given me and like mentors have given me. And I just kind of cobbled it together in a way that like really works for me. And I think that if you're able to find somebody who looks like maybe they have a little more figured out than you, try to make friends with that person and try to learn from them. And they don't actually have it all together. You're like, what, me? No. Women are meant to be in community. I think like when we just, from the dawn of time, right?

[00:52:26] It's just like that is we're meant to have covens, you know, our little witch covens. But it's so important. I think just especially a working mom's not working moms, but obviously like our perspective is a working mom because no matter what your job is, the struggles are, you know, different, but the same. And it's really helpful to just have somebody else there to either be like, I see you and I hear you and I'm doing, I'm dealing with the same, I don't have an answer, but I'm dealing with the same thing.

[00:52:51] So you feel a little bit less alone or maybe they're like, I did have that issue and now I've, and here's how I figured it out. And, you know, you can kind of learn from each other, which is so nice. Yeah, absolutely. I love it. Well, Lauren, thank you so much for agreeing to do this with me, for coming on the podcast. It was so fun. And I'm just so happy for you. I'm so happy that you have found a career that you love, that you're loving the whole experience of working motherhood. Oh, I mean, it's right back at you.

[00:53:19] This is the fact that you've like built this out for yourself is so exciting and awesome. So it's so happy to join you today. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you everyone so much for tuning in and we will see you all next week. Thank you so much for listening to Leadership in Motherhood. I genuinely hope you're walking away with something helpful that will positively impact your life. If this podcast resonates with you, it would mean the world to me if you'd support the show

[00:53:48] by leaving a five-star rating on Apple or Spotify, sharing an episode you love with someone you care about and or by following the show. I hope you'll join me again next week. And until then, I'm wishing you all the best in this season of your one and only precious life. Thank you.