What if the person giving you life advice is, behind the scenes, completely falling apart?

In this deeply moving solo episode of Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham pulls back the curtain, sharing the raw, unfiltered story of a year that shook the very foundations of her life. From the staggering loss of her father to the painful journey of caring for her mother as dementia set in, Tess Brigham—the certified coach and licensed therapist—describes what happens when every piece of her own identity is "activated in crisis mode."

Far from the highlight reels and inspirational soundbites, this episode reveals the messy, complicated realities even therapists and coaches face. Tess Brigham explores generational differences in dealing with grief, mental health, self-reliance, and asking for help—drawing wisdom (and exposing blind spots) from Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z. She reflects on the exhausting duality of caring for aging parents while supporting her own child through mental health struggles, and how real-life heartbreak changed her perspective as both a professional and a human being.

Key highlights include:

The overlooked emotional cost of being the "strong one" in the family
Generational patterns and how each age group defines asking for help and resilience
Why anticipatory grief and caretaking are acts of love—and also sources of silent pain
Lessons Tess Brigham is carrying forward, and the generational beliefs she's choosing to leave behind
A vulnerable reminder that "hanging tough" means allowing yourself to soften, seek support, and be human

This solo episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating family caregiving, loss, or simply questioning how we all handle life's hardest seasons.

Episode Overview 00:00 – Intro Announcer sets up the show's generational lens

00:31 – Tess Brigham addresses why sharing her own story matters

03:02 – Navigating simultaneous personal crises: parental loss, caregiving, and self-identity

06:33 – The unique grief of losing a parent's mind versus a parent's body

08:40 – Generational patterns: independence, vulnerability, and the cost of stoicism

11:32 – Tess Brigham on what Millennials and Gen Z are teaching the rest of us

13:05 – The realities of “functioning” through grief and anticipatory loss

17:17 – Each generation’s wisdom, and what Tess Brigham plans to carry—and leave behind

20:35 – A gentle call to "hang tough" in a way that honors both strength and softness

Ready to feel seen and understood in the messiest moments of life? Hit play and join the conversation.

Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach.

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Ep 42: Gen Mess Reflections: Surviving Change, Loss, and Family Shifts Across Generations

Ep 42: Gen Mess Reflections: Surviving Change, Loss, and Family Shifts Across Generations

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