Working while human

[00:00:02] Dear Leader, it is with mixed emotions that I write to share important news with you. You are human. This may come as a surprise to some. After all, you have dedicated many years to demonstrating a willingness to go above and beyond, giving 110%, pursuing excellence, saying yes to every challenge, flirting with burnout, and generally striving for the impossible standard of perfection.

[00:00:30] While this is effective immediately, I understand there may be an adjustment period. During this transition, you can depend on your colleagues and friends for support. The picture-perfect leader has declined a formal send-off. However, I hope you will join me in thanking them for their efforts and wishing them all the best in their next endeavor. I'm excited to welcome your humanity to the team and encourage you to introduce yourself at your earliest convenience.

[00:00:59] The experience, wisdom, and authenticity your humanity brings to the role, along with the natural insecurities and messiness of daily life, will contribute greatly to our ongoing and future learning and success. I am confident that you will find working alongside your humanity a deeply satisfying endeavor, and look forward to seeing you grow. With warmest regards, etc.

[00:01:23] This is the first in a series of Dear Leader memo-style LinkedIn posts I wrote a few years ago. I've dusted it off for today's episode of the Well-Led Podcast because I think it still manages to capture an important point, one that preoccupies our attention a great deal on this show. Leaders are human. It's inescapable and must be acknowledged and accounted for when we talk about leadership responsibilities.

[00:01:53] It's true for demonstrating care and for providing support, the essentials we explored in the first half of the year. Both involve balancing human and professional factors. While demonstrating care represents an essential leadership responsibility for interpersonal matters, providing support in order to achieve results, sits in a space that is more or less transactional. Our newest focus area, choosing grace,

[00:02:24] balances these two, relationships and results. The skills involved allow you to address the reality of leading people because when we bring work and people together, we guarantee a chance of mistakes. Your effort and energy are not intended to be spent fixing people. Instead, as a leader, you need the skills, knowledge and abilities to navigate the reality of working with humans,

[00:02:51] to minimize disruption and still get results. Choosing grace and leadership requires authenticity, creativity and safety, embracing humanity, welcoming experimentation and protecting your team. Today, I will sketch out a brief definition of choosing grace and then delve into the nature and purpose of authenticity. We don't hear much about grace in the workplace.

[00:03:20] I, for one, think this is a shame. Grace is, in fact, a practical consideration for leaders. When I consider the several meanings associated with the word, it amazes me that we don't talk about it all the time when it comes to work. Whether we mean it as a short blessing, the offer of approval or mercy, or an ease of movement, there are lessons for leaders buried in this word. We say grace for a meal.

[00:03:49] Religious associations aside, this is essentially an act of gratitude, giving thanks. Leading well does not happen without expressing gratitude and recognition for the people on your team. We extend grace in the face of errors or wrongs. This is not unlike assuming good intent or withholding judgment. We'll talk about psychological safety in a few weeks, but I mention it here because it depends upon the presence of this type of grace.

[00:04:18] Without it, employees will operate in fear of punishment. We admire people who are graceful. This meeting brings visions of fluid dancers, delicate birds moving with speed and ease, the pleasantness of watching something or someone that charms us. And if we focus on this idea of ease or smoothness, we see a leadership responsibility present itself.

[00:04:45] One of the first duties of any leader is to remove barriers for their employees. This is an act of creating ease, an act of grace. Expressing gratitude, fostering goodwill, and even ensuring operational efficiency are all ways of choosing grace. And they each begin with authenticity. Our authentic selves are flawed

[00:05:14] and still the only means we have to do work. Why does this matter for leaders? We don't need copies or fakes or substitutes. We need real, human, authentic people to come to work every day, accept leadership from human leaders, and do their best, trusting that leaders will understand mistakes and still work to support their success. Authentic leaders, humans who lead, are genuine,

[00:05:43] trustworthy, and aware. It shows up in choices, behaviors, relationships, and even attitudes to self. This is because authenticity is comprised of the following. Humility, possessing holistic self-knowledge. Integrity, being genuine, truthful, and trustworthy. And liberty, being free from the burden of false attitudes or inauthentic behaviors. You may be wondering,

[00:06:11] how does all of this differ from vulnerability, the first skill associated with demonstrating care? It's not so much about being a different skill. Instead, authenticity is the skill of living as a vulnerable, flawed, and unique person. This matters in leadership because, how best to articulate this, it's in part about the public nature of leadership.

[00:06:42] Authenticity moves beyond displaying vulnerable parts of yourself to functioning with the shared public knowledge that you have those soft spots, like all people do. You model this, and it means you can understand the challenges of working while human. When you are authentic, it makes it acceptable for others to be so too. Rather than simply claiming, I want employees to bring their authentic selves to work,

[00:07:10] you display your authentic self first. You share stories from your life, dress according to your personal style, and generally go about your day as yourself. But not without boundaries. Authenticity must be accompanied by discernment. Like its fraternal skill vulnerability, leading well authentically involves awareness of circumstances and norms. A silly simple example,

[00:07:40] my personal style may truly be yoga pants all day, but if I work in an office attire office, you better believe I'm wearing slacks. This isn't being disingenuous, it's ensuring my choices don't get in the way of results. Being willfully disruptive in the name of authenticity is not productive, nor is it an act of grace. Again, discernment is the steady companion of authenticity. Together, they make it so relationships and results

[00:08:09] are made operational with the choice of grace. It's important to remember at this point that no one is born knowing how to lead. This should be a comfort to us all. It means that we can learn how to lead. In spite of our humanity, the failure, shame, strength, flesh, tears, and all, we can learn to lead and learn to be authentic in a leadership role.

[00:08:37] Oddly, one surefire way to learn leadership is to fail. Our mistakes, that guaranteed feature of being human, teach us the fundamental skills every leader needs. If you're willing to examine your own failures, you will discover at least three truths. Leaders have earned well-rounded humility. A good leader is humble in a uniquely public, yet fragile way.

[00:09:07] She knows her strengths, but has also spent the time becoming intimately familiar with her flaws. She is honest about her shortcomings and is the first to admit a mistake. She builds a team that explicitly complements her abilities and compensates for her weaknesses. Her ego is tempered by good humor and hard-earned knowledge because each mistake or indicator of her humanity has been an opportunity

[00:09:36] to understand herself more fully. Leaders demonstrate integrity with grit. If you are humble and willing to learn, few things will teach you to keep going, to keep trying like a mistake will. When a leader picks himself up and brushes himself off before stepping right back to the task at hand, he demonstrates grit. This is being able to start, start again, adapt, try another approach,

[00:10:05] and do what it takes to finish. Grit is, however, not a quest for perfection. Rather, grit allows the leader to demonstrate that he has done the work, put in the time, and can be trusted to recognize another person's effort. Leaders learn liberty through failure. A leader who is dedicated to learning from mistakes has the ability to identify the conditions that created her mistakes

[00:10:35] in the first place. And in the future, by minding the signs and signals of failure, she is able to find the path to the right outcome. Because a leader who has failed can tell you exactly what success looks like. A leader who has failed and then transformed what she learned into success is freed from the burden of trying to be or become something she isn't. Humility, integrity, and liberty.

[00:11:05] Characteristics acquired through failure and reflection. This is authenticity. We are all human. We all face failure. We cannot avoid this truth. Leaders distinguish themselves when they understand this. Our humanity is not a problem. It is the path to leadership that cares and supports other humans. It is leadership that chooses grace.

[00:11:35] This is why, dear leader, I am happy to share that you are human. We'll be back next Tuesday with an episode featuring other voices sharing thoughts on authenticity. And later this season we'll explore the role and importance of creativity in leadership. If you want updates on episodes, resources, and upcoming offerings for 123 Limited, you can join the newsletter at any time. And the latest companion toolkit

[00:12:05] is now available. Accountability for effective, supportive leadership. Check the show notes for a link to request your free copy. If this episode was useful, you can support the show by following or subscribing on your preferred podcast platform or by sharing it with someone who's navigating similar leadership challenges. Thank you for listening.